When in the zone and experiencing “flow” moments, we are not self-aware. Attention is focused on the activity, not on oneself. Watch a great athlete, and in the the moment, they are focused entirely on the game.
In flow, we ‘forget’ ourselves and lose track of time. In these moments, we are happy, alert, and unselfconscious. These moments of low self-awareness have an authenticity to them and as humans we known how to identify them in others. When self-awareness is heightened, we can pick out the resultant nervousness and insecurity.
So Quickly Let Look at some self awareness steps
1. Understand he drive of conflict.
The source of all conflict is the concept that we operate in a world of lack and need to fight to pool limited resources (clients, money) to pay for our survival.
To survive in this space and remain competitive we must protect our identities as the “The smartest”, “Most competent” or “I am a warrior”
The practice of being a neutral observer of yourself. This means that while going throughout your day you notice what thoughts and emotions arise within you in different interactions, and resist making a judgment about them, but instead just making mental notes.
3. Identify Self Limiting beliefs / Insecurities
Another device of the ego is the internal dialogue it uses to perpetuate our fears, false beliefs and feelings of inadequacy.
It is that little voice that whispers “You’re not good enough”, “You don’t deserve that kind of success.” or “They will think I am imperfect.” This voice of false self-limiting ideations that can only be undone by identifying the neuro-program’s origin, challenging its credibility then redefining it to serve one’s desires and full potential
The practice of thinking about what you have observed and finding correlations in thinking patterns. Again, not using judgment, guilt or shame, but getting to the root of what and why behind the thinking patterns you have developed.
5. Practice gratitude.
It’s easy to focus on the negative, we all know that. But, by setting aside some time each day to count your blessings and to be grateful for what you have in your life, it will make it easier to let go of the negative and begin to live a life of fulfillment.
6. Paradigm Shift
The practice of realizing what patterns of thinking no longer hold value for you. Things that are based on what you believed were valid that were possibly expected of you from someone else, rather than aligning with your innate value system.
7. Safe Place Practice (Forgiveness of Self and others)
Another powerful technique for self awareness is forgiveness. What are we judging about ourselves? What act or past deed are we still hanging ourselves for and refusing to forgive? These are some of the questions we need to ask.
The old saying “hurt people, hurt people”, exemplifies that people in their own perceived survival will do whatever they need to do to survive. Similar to the idea of a drowning man getting rescued will, in his fear, inadvertently drown his rescuers.
The practice of self-inquiry or asking yourself what you truly desire in life for yourself and others. Making a commitment to following your values and not being swayed by other’s expectations or value systems.
The practice of creating thinking patterns that are in harmony with what you value, so that what you think, say, and do are all in agreement.
10. Seek to understand, not to be right.
Leading on from the above, you owe it to yourself to put your ego aside and to understand what you can learn in each trying situation.
As soon as you feel a negative emotion arise or you want to argue your point, decide to remove yourself from the situation and become an observer of yourself or choose to sit in the feeling for a moment and then let it go.
11. Personal Empowerment
The practice of becoming stronger because you now act from a place that resonates with what you believe in and have removed the mental clutter and confusion of what “should” be done to what you want to do.
12. Explore differences
As human beings, we tend to gloss over the differences of those we see as ‘more like us’, or those we want to aspire to be like, and accentuate the differences of those we view as ‘less like us’ or want to be more distant from.
Rather than seeing differences as the criteria for in-group vs out-group membership, take time to think about and explore those differences – they will help you understand yourself and others more deeply.
13. Remaining in Love
The practice of staying in a grace relationship with yourself and others. When negative feelings of hate or bitterness arise, to be able to consciously notice them and chose to transcend the situations that cause these feelings and stay grounded in self-worth which promotes love.